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Monday, October 22, 2012

The Fox "News" Spin Cycle ► Episode 22

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics
It was a very eventful week on Bizarro World ... err ... I mean Fox "News." There was so much going on that I had 318 screen captures to choose from, of which this is only a representative sampling. 

As the Foxites attempted to blame President Obama for the actual attack in Benghazi, Libya, they conveniently forget that they never blamed Dubya for the attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Not to mention forgiving Bush for that whole illegal war in Iraq, which never did locate those Weapons of Mass Destruction. However, even more important for Fox "News" was its need to WHITEwash the massive blunder by Mendacious Mitt at the 2nd Presidential Debate. Rather than learn for himself what may have occurred, Mittens proved he lives in a Fox "News" created bubble when he walked right into the Benghazi Wall. Fox "News" has been working hard to fix that black eye ever since.

Let's get right to it, shall we?


The week started, as it always does, with some Fox and Friends First cheesecake. With Ainsley Earworm
on her honeymoon, it was left to two other interchangeable "news" babes to deliver the morning leg.

More cheesecake.
That's easy: Seeing Fox "News" on tee vees at the airport.
Bully Boy Bolling counts it down for people who don't have calendars, or enough fingers and toes to count for themselves.
It may just be coincidence but after Mendacious Mitt visited Billy Graham, his church took Mormonism off it's evil cult list.
Wretched Gretched was playing the ref even before the dabate happened.
After Mendacious Mitt fouled himself, they really gave it to Candy Crowley.
Let's not even bother to wait for the outcome of the investigations. It's time to fire someone ... anyone!!!
That's like saying "dog bites man." Get back to me when she says something unexpected.
In case you missed KKKarl Rove's massive conflict of interest: His 2 SuperPACs are spending close to $300,000,000.00
to influence the 2012 elections and Fox "News" always presents him as an honest, disinterested analyst.
Let's not wait until the facts are in.
How long can Juan Williams get away with telling the truth on Fox "News"
when that truth is diametrically opposed to the lies that Fox "News" peddles?
Fox "News" that always complains about how unseemly it is to call people's names, always refers to
Bill Maher as a "pig." And, "trounces"??? While that's another one of those action verbs loved
by Fox "News," Bill Maher exposed Ann Coulter for the empty-headed sloganeer she really is.
Just like Mendacious Mitt, Donald Trump loves firing people. He built a whole show around it, with the help of NBC, of course.
Anything ever said about President Obama is repeated on Fox "News." However, it never
passes along editorials in favour of President Obama. I'm still looking for one.
Oddly enough, by week's end the Fox "News" invented narrative was falling apart, right on Fox "News."
Those Foxy Friends at Fox and Friends keep promoting this series of lectures. While they are FREE, I cannot
believe that Bob Massi is just donating his time. It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn he's selling books
and other courses at these lectures. No one does stuff like this for FREE and everyone knows it.
KKKarl Rove caught in a massive conflict of interest, but you'll never hear about it on Fox "News."
More of the action verbs Fox "News" loves to use. While Ingraham
can throw as many punches a she likes, none of them landed.
The controversy was they discovered Candy Crowley has been reporting honestly for CNN for many years.
This is just more of the Fox "News" meme that the debate will be unfair before it even began.
Is this silly woman still an official Fox "News" contributor, or does she just shill for her DWTS daughter?
Why isn't this man in jail?
IRONY ALERT!!! Fox "News" has a Bias Alert??? That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
Fox "News" is the mainstream media, Bully Boy. Smart people actually wait for the evidence before alleging a cover-up. Just saying.
There is no controversy, but Fox "News" is trying to smear Elizabeth Warren.
This GOP study has been debunked, but that didn't stop Fox "News" from passing it
along as if it means something. There are other studies in support of President Obama's
policies, but you'll never hear about them on Fox "News," the "Fair and Balanced network.
This is the news everyone has been waiting for.
                  
This is the picture everybody's been waiting for.
In case you've lost your calendar.
I think it shows guts.
Mendacious Mitt, why do you lie so much and do you think Fox "News" lying about your lies is helpful?
"QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?"
And what Trisha Yearwood cooks up will be more palatable and honest than what Lindsey Graham creates.
Let me take a guess: Because they are actually supporting President Obama? What do I win?
Another anti-Obama editorial from The Falafel King.
How refreshing for someone to take the blame for their mistakes. However, Fox "News" will find a way to turn it into a bad thing.
No, Bully Boy. I wrote all about this in Chow Mein and Bolling 10 ► Ignorant And Proud Of It. Read up, you ignorant shit.

Just another one of those segments where Jesse Watters interview people and only cuts together those comments
that makes everyone look stupid. Fox "News" somehow thinks this is worthy of airtime and this asshole's salary.
A terrible video, with off-key singing and Fox "News" is touting it as this year's "Obama Girl." Yet, it's just terrible.
 
Is he in jail yet?
Every single one was an anti-Obama tweet. What a surprise.
Why does Frank Luntz wear a dead laboratory animal on his head?
No one is threatening riots, but during the week this became a popular extreme Right Wing
talking point, so of corse Fox "News" has to pass along this stupid conspiracy theory.
I'd rather know what KKKarl Rove has to show for the $300,000,000.00 that his SuperPACs are dropping on the election and, furthermore, how much of an "in kind" donation all his appearances on Fox "News" are worth.
Even a coin toss is worthy of one of the Fox "News" action verbs.
Fox "News" has been doing everything in its power to make this a cover-up, but by week's end this lie was falling apart.
No one threw Hilary Clinton under the bus. Furthermore, why is Steve Doocy trying to blame this
talking point on his neighbour? Can't he take ownership of the crap he sends out under his name?
I bet you never predicted that all the headlines (except at Fox "News") would say, "Mitt Screwed Up."
Remember: Bully Boy Bolling is the man who called Vice President Biden a drunk, rude, disrespectful, an unhinged
cranky old man
. He also has called President Obama a thug and accused him of chugging 40s in the Hizzy House.

Steve Doocy is easily amused.
The debate begins. And yet Mendacious Mitt never explains how.
It's amazing how much the personalities at Fox "News" forget, if they ever knew in the 1st place.
One GOP talking point after another from Scammity.
There's a lot too blame on Dubya and gas prices is just one of those things.
Yet economists have confirmed that was the reason gas prices had taken a tumble at
the end of Dubya's term. However, don't let the facts confuse you, Scammity.

You don't seem to know how utterly stupid you appear, Sean.
Yet, Mendacious Mitt continuously broke the rules and hectored the president as if he
was an intern who brought back the wrong coffee order. That endeared Mittens to nobody.
What doesn't add up is any of Mendacious Mitt's tax plans, which seem to change whenever he speaks of them.
Because Mendacious Mitt is not used to following the rules, which are for everybody but himself. And, being
questioned by a woman? That's unheard of in Romney's World of boardrooms and the Mormon church.
Mendacious Mitt was rude and hectoring during the debate, but credit where credit's due: He managed to get off a lot of lies.
Nor should it. Dubya really fucked things up and Fox "News" covered for him then and is still covering for him.
There were much better quotes, but Fox "News" wants to pretend President Obama is just playing small ball.
The same is much preferable to anything that Mendacious Mitt has proposed, then unproposed, then proposed all over again.
The first blaming of the moderator came less than halfway through the debate, which makes the 5 minute figure laughable.
Yet, it was all a lie, as Scammity well knows.
It's hard not to smile when you know you're winning.
This "spiking the football" meme was silly the first time and just gets sillier as time goes on.
Mendacious Mitt has so much money in his (not very) blind trust tied up in China that this is
accurate. How can he be trusted to get tough on China when it will hurt his own earnings?
This is the whole problem Mendacious Mitt had with taking Fox "News"
memes and thinking they resembled anything close to the truth.
This is HIGH COMEDY. Thinking they were helping, Fox "News" provided the transcript which actually proved
Mendacious Mitt wrong and then spent the rest of the week saying the transcript did not say what the words actually said.
I thought this moment should have gotten more play in the post-game shows. How can Mendacious
Mitt really think that Obama's pension, with small investments made by whoever handles that pension
fund, with money that Mittens PERSONALLY invested in China and still has invested in China?

If lies were taxed, Mendacious Mitt could retire the debt.
The 'Merkin public doesn't have to settle for Republican liars.
This just shows how delusional Fox "News" is. They'll spend the rest of the week lying in an attempt to prove this.
He's never ducked responsibility. However, mendacious Mitt has run away from his own positions time and time again.
Yes. Next question?
Choose an issue and Mendacious Mitt has been on all sides of it. More flip flops than a Florida beach.
As it should be. The president never shirks responsibility. Mendacious Mitt won't even agree on what he has said previously.
And that ends the debate, but not the Fox "News" lies. The rest of the week the so-called "Fair and
Balanced" network will be playing clean-up for that spill on aisle five that Mendacious Mitt left.
Steve Doocy thought Mendacious Mitt was a disaster, but has to blame the debate format instead.
Midway through the debate Doocy claimed it was five minutes. Yet, there was no mention that Mendacious
Mitt interrupted his own time to hector the President with questions, which ceded time to Obama.
Of course Crowley was right, but no one at Fox "News" can admit that, so they
will spend hours pretending that President Obama didn't say what he clearly said.
Toe Sucker Morris weighs in and we all know how "Fair and Balanced he is."
I look forward to laughing at Frank Luntz's bad toupee as he spins the debate reaction of his so-called "fair" focus group.
Surely he must be in jail by now.
Umpires call balls and strikes and Mendacious Mitt struck out. However, Fox "News" has to blame someone for Mitten's fuck up.
I heard it. So did President Obama, who tagged him on it.
This was the other crazy Right Wing meme the morning after the debate. Of course
nothing said about how Mendacious Mitt broke the rules that he agreed to beforehand.

Because Soledad O'Brien insisted on telling the truth right to Sununu's face.
WHEN FOX "NEWS" TYPES IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, YOU JUST KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT!
Yet Bully Boy Bolling knows that Candy Crowley was right, but if he ever admitted that he'd also have to admit
that Mendacious Mitt really screwed the pooch, and sold the pups, on that whole Benghazi debate segment.
Citytv is the station I wrote tee vee news for for a decade. It was so sad to see them
promote The Loofah Lad, even tho' they were really promoting Katie Couric's talk show.
Another one of those silly segments in which Watters finds people who say stupid things. It's gotten plenty old.
Gee, what a surprise.
Gee, what a surprise.
Gee, what a surprise.
Gee, what a surprise.
This is the morning after the debate. Consequently no poll is going to reflect the debate
talking points. However, KKKarl Rove wants his brain-dead followers to believe this.
Now there's a "Fair and Blanced" panel . . . NOT!
Show me one thing he's fixed, Miller. Personally, I think Mendacious Mitt gets off on lying about things.
The only blows Crowley landed were against Mendacious Mitt's lies.
This is just a variation on "Watters World." Jimmy Kimmel asked people who won the
debate before the debate was even broadcast. Most of them said President Obama won.
Kerry Healey continued the lie that Mendacious Mitt had those "binders full of women"
prepared for his use, when the truth is that the "binders full of women" were prepared by a
nonpartisan women's group PRIOR to the election and submitted to Mittens when he won.
What happened to all that talk that the polls were skewed? Oh yeah! That's when the polls favoured President Obama.
This is how Fox "News" is trying to characterize Mendacious Mitt's screw up at the debate: As a "MAJOR
MOMENT FOR GOV ROMNEY" and that ... that ... that woman Candy Crowley stepped on it!!!
Here's a better statistic: No candidate who won the 2008 election has ever lost the 2012 election. And you can take that to the bank.
And the sky is green, too. Who you gonna believe, your own ears and eyes, or The Falafel King?
A more powerful voice for bullying by Bully Boy Bolling.
The daily countdown to election day. Thanks, Bully Boyu.


Be afraid! Be very afraid!!!
This was highly amusing. Ben Stein tripped them up by saying that taxes will have to be raised. The Three
Stooges spent the rest of the interview trying to get Stein to walk back the truth, but he stuck to his guns.
Not if I see you first. This is so disingenuous. Wretched Gretched can't see anyone in the audience.
Would it surprise you to find out that Loofah Lad thought Mendacious Mitt won the debate?
This is my favourite story of the week: Dinesh D'Souza was caught sharing a hotel room with his fiancee, even though he's still married to another. So Fox "News" allows him the opportunity to lay out his side of the story in an editorial. He denied having an affair with "Denise" but then said that he broke off the engagement because he didn't realize one couldn't be engaged while still married. By the end of the week he resigned as president of The King's College, a New York City evangelical school. However, the only real question is why would Fox "News" allow someone to use its web site to deny charges like this? Could it have anything to do with that bullshit documentary which trashes President Obama with a non-ending series of lies?
What does that even mean? "Won the debate, but lost the argument"??? Oh, I get it! He didn't lie as well ads Mendacious Mitt.
TRANSLATION: Had it not been for Candy Crowley Mendacious Mitt might have gotten away with his lies.
I have NEVER seen Fox "News" promote a pro-Obama advert, but they will give FREE "in kind" promotions to anti-Obama adverts all day long.
I guess only polls that put Mendacious Mitt ahead are not skewed. Makes sense.
Which only proves that Chris Christie is smarter than he looks.
From News Busters? What about all thos fake focus groups belonging to Frank Luntz?
This is the closest you'll ever get to seeing KKKarl Rove admit that he's behind American Crossroads and the $300,000,000.00 million dollars his 2 SuperPACs are spending to influence the 2012 election and he
doesn't even admit it here, let alone on Fox "News," which hides this massive conflict of interest.
What's so funny about an URL?
How many subpoenas can Issa issue? Even before he arrived in Washington after the last
election he promised he would subpoena anything that moved. At least he kept that promise.
If KKKarl Rove says it, it must be true because he has no stake in the outcome, right?

Oh, lookie: They breitbarted the President again by taking his words out of context.
Many papers have endorsed President Obama, but Fox "News" has yet to pass any of those along.
TRANSLATION: Who knew Mendacious Mitt could read jokes written by someone else?
Yeah, President Obama was more self-depricating, so that's what Doocy will highlight. If he was being honest (but he never is) he would also admit that Mittens threw far more jocular punches at President Obama than the other way around.
Well, even evil robots can deliver lines written for him by other comedians.
Because everyone knows that ratings equal quality, said no one ever.
Here's your morning cheesecake.
Counting down . . .
Call me crazy, but I want a country where lying isn't practiced by the Republican candidate for president.
Now he's old enough to wear long pants.
What you are not being told by Fox "News" (and you knew they left something out, right?) is that
this came AFTER Mendacious Mitt's son said he wanted to punch President Obama in the face.
A variation on Watters World. They found college kids who didn't know all the nuances of the attack in Benghazi. I bet they could do the same thing with adults and the only people who would know anything about the Benghazi attack would be people who watch Fox "News." And, they'd get it wrong just like Mendacious Mitt because Fox "News" lies.
Something tells me Geraldo Rivera is not a fan of Mendacious Mitt's policies on immigration.
Which is what will make the last debate fun to watch, to see what Mendacious
Mitt steps in this time and whether he can get it off his expensive shoes.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!!!
Because we all know that body language will determine who wins the election, said no one ever.
A documentary called "Special Report Investigates: Death and Deceit in Benghazi"
wouldn't be slanted at all, especially on the "Fair and Balanced" network.
The parents of the other people who were killed in Benghazi have asked that people not turn this into a political
football, but Fox "News" is going to exploit this mother's pain and anguish to politicize the deaths in Benghazi.
Fox "News" is going to make sure that every member of its brain dead audience has been brainwashed
into accepting the Fox "News" created lies that place all the blame at President Obama's doorstep.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!!!
TRANSLATION: We invented new information this morning and we will spin it for you.
I don't think I want to know.
A reminder: This was said after Mendacious Mitt's son threatened to punch President Obama in the face.
Izzat what you kidz are calling it these days?
Sorry, Charlie. So far, there is no proof that anyone lied, but keep trying.
Lila Rose?!?!?! Keep trying Fox "News."
In your face, GOP!!!
Be afraid! Be very afraid!!! Oh, wait! Be outraged! Be very outraged!!!
Be afraid! Be very afraid!!!
Who is cooking the statistics? Oh, CNS? Then they can be ignored.
Did they leave out the speech in Las Vegas again, where President Obama called it an act of terror again?
REMEMBER: It's only a skewed poll if President Obama is in the lead.
"QUCK! How can we blame this on President Obama?"
Be afraid! Be very afraid!!! At this totally denied by the White House story.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!!!

What woukd we do without Bully Boy Bolling's daily countdown?
By the end of the week, this was the new Fox "News" meme: The government
COULD have prevented the attack in Benghazi, but was too slow to act.
Would you be surprised to learn that the promos do not defend Candy Crowley's debate performance?
It merely promoted that Candy Crowley of CNN moderated the debate and works at CNN.
How ironic is this: Eva Longoria became Enemy Number One for retweeting something someone else wrote,
but totally ignored in the kerfuffle was her prayers for the victims of the mall shooting near Milwaukee.
Fox tumbler? Say it ain't so!
Bully Boy Bolling makes a solemn promise.
Fox "News" just loves to find ways to denigrate Sandra Fluke.
No sense waiting for the outcome of the several investigations before apportioning blame.
Because the White House denied what Fox "News" thought would be a gotcha story, they shift to a gotcha story against the NYTs.
Because 5 days worth of their bullshit just isn't enough.
See?
 And that brings us to the end of another edition of The Fox News Spin Cycle. Tune in next week when Fox "News" will be forced to WHITEwash whatever mistakes Mendacious Mitt makes at tonight's debate.